Sunday, February 27, 2011

Antara KEMAHUAN, KEINGINAN, KEPERLUAN, KEHENDAK, KEPENTINGAN dan KEUTAMAAN (inspired for myself)

Post aku kat wall FB td...
yg aku nak kongsi sikit disini...
and citekan or explain kat korg satu2
ape yg aku maksudkan...

~antara KEMAHUAN dan KEINGINAN~
~antara KEPERLUAN dan KEHENDAK~
~antara KEPENTINGAN dan KEUTAMAAN~

yg mana satu kita akan pilih
demi kebaikan semua???

tapi persoalannya...
mampu ke aku ikut sendiri apa yg aku tulis tu???

itulah jgk yg aku ckp waktu nasihatkan dak2 upper 6 td

sbb walaupun kata2 itu hampir sama...
tp istilah dan definisi nya berbeza sgt2...

cube tafsirkan satu persatu...
aku kaji BM setahun setengah eh...
ade lain2 maksud perkataan yg hampir sama tu...

bagi diri aku...
kata2 tu mmg terkena sgt pada diri sendiri...

okeh...
dlm hidup aku cth nye...
setiap kata2 tu bermaksud...

KEMAHUAN
segala kemahuan aku dari kecik dulu
segala kemahuan keluarga aku...
segala impian dlm diri aku yg mmg
dah ditetapkan dari dulu dlm jln hidup aku
kemahuan semua pihak...
kemahuan aku dlm kejayaan...
semua tulah...

KEINGINAN
segala keinginan aku utk rasa
seperti memiliki sesuatu yg berharga
or at least sesuatu yg istimewa...
something special...
or keinginan utk jd wild or
ikut kata hati and
heart instinct la org kata...

KEPERLUAN
keperluan utk survive...
rohani, intelek, jasmani, emosi...

>rohani selalu nya dikaitkan dgn keagamaan or
unsur2 ketenangan gitu la kan...
>intelek lebih kpd pemikiran kita and academic
>jasmani pulak more tu kesihatan and fizikal la
>emosi lebih kpd perasaan yg kita rasakan...

semua aspek / elemen tu ade keperluan
yg tersendiri and unik utk dipenuhi...

keperluan2 ni mesti dipenuhi utk terus hidup...

KEHENDAK
apa yg kita nak utk hidup lebih selesa
and lebih bahagia la sng citer...
sesuatu yg x terhad and sesuatu
yg x boleh kite kawal or penuhi
sbb byk sgt kehendak dlm diri kite...

sampai kdg2 menimbulkan konflik dalaman
dah complicated lak jadinya...
bile semua kehendak x dpt ditunaikan
kan???

sbb mustahil utk memenuhi semua nya
dlm satu mase betul x?
I mean kite bukannya boleh lwan takdir
or betulkan sesuatu yg dah lps...

hidup bkn dibawah kawalan kite...
kite cuma merancang...
tp ALLAH s.w.t yg lebih mengetahui and merancang
kehidupan kite...

(ape kes dah mcm dlm kelas ekonomi cikgu Jam and kelas Tasawwur lak ni???)

KEPENTINGAN
setiap individu perlu kan
penetapan and plan hidup mereka...
important element...
what is so important to them they should be focusing on?
Of coz la mencapai kejayaan dlm kehidupan dunia and akhirat
kan???

KEUTAMAAN
in any other word
priority...
or
PRIORITIES
sbb in life...
you got many different choices
and it is up to you to decide...

or in my case other decided...
but like everyone kept telling me...
>FOR MY OWN GOOD<

for goodness sake...
can't I just be thankfull and say THANKS???

but also...

I got other priority in my life...
my mind...
it is him...

but this is obviously not a priority
according to others
its just that
it is one of my number one priority...
the feeling of belongings....

felt like I belong there instead of here...
and half of me has been divided...

50 there
50 here...

I could die if I kept thinking about this whole thing
(just kidding and being sarcastic)

So what I can say is...
life doesn't work like we hope it turn up to be
it is not happening our own way...
life doesn't just go like what you want or planned...
you are the one who will just
have to go with the flow
let the time and destiny decide
coz everything has been fate and fix for you...

maybe what we thought the best for us
is not
and maybe what we thought less important
is the most we need...

life is a mystery
the one we have to discover with faith
believe and trust...

sometime it does feel like
completing a jigsaw puzzle...
or sudoku...
its compicated...
but we will always found the pieces
whenever we less expect it...

peculiar things happened...
and we asked ourself... WHY???

But everything is happening for a reason...
and that is the thing that will make you believe
in whats true or not...
and will make you calm down
in the time u need it the most...

the time we need to hold on to something...
those words are most of the time soothing our mind off...

nobody is perfect...
that I admit...

and everyone ade rezeki masing2
INSYA ALLAH
we will find our way...

so walaupun hidup aku x mcm yg aku set
dari kecik dulu...

sbb tibe2 ade satu virus positif
yg menyerang and muncul dlm hidup aku ni...
virus yg buat aku happy all the time...

x lelap tido...
x kenyang bile mkn...
x basah bile mandi...

and virus ni muncul setiap kali aku bernafas...
setiap kali degupan jantung bergerak...
tp aku bersyukur sgt kerana
dgn kehadiran virus ni
aku sedar erti hidup...
dan kerana virus ni...
aku rase senang
thays y I love this virus...
and x nak delete sampai bile2...
ngeeeee :)

(kritikal sungguh , saket2... !!!)

tapi aku yakin...
semuanya akan ok...
nanti, satu hari...
everything will be fine...
INSYA ALLAH...

^_^

tough girl...
superpowerwoman

Mahkamah Bersidang Harini... Redha dgn Keputusan Walaupun Perit...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t …

pembuka kata aku hari ni...

tadi baru je semua berkumpul
utk kawah berapi lagi sekali...
ade la mcm persidangan meja2 bulat gak kot...

diorg berbincang pasal result aku je and
kemana aku nk g pasni...
serta plan2 hidup aku seterusnya...

xdelah menyentuh bab2 personal sgt td...
tp most on academic la kan...

mendengar je aku ade apply SPA
membuat ade antara mereka yg terkejut giler2...
sbb x sgka idea utk keje tu timbul dlm minda aku.

So diorg pun confront aku about the working idea
and said
>knpe lak aku nk keje since keputusan aku ok
and leh lagi smbung blaja...

so diorg pun berbincang and decide
that working or working while studying is totally
unacceptable and impossible...

so NO NO NO...
larangan...
(terasa mcm dgr2 je bunyi ketukan kayu in court)

pasal LAW plak...
diorg mmg x approve lgsg...
sbb diorg kata keje tu ssh nk dpt
subjek tu berat nak bwk...
(takut aku x mampu)
gaji pun biase2...
then susah cuti..

pastu lak diorg kata
kalau salah defend...
kite yg kna tggung dosa...

hurmmmmmmmmmmm....
K FINE!!!
aku let go je bab LAW even aku ltak gak LAW tu
dlm pilihan choices termasuk
HD dgn HR...
and aku ltak gak TESL …

if possible mmg nak apply UKM dgn UPM
antara due tulah
x la dekat and x la jauh...

so kire ok la...
skrg just tggu result je mcm mane...

so mmg dlm 3-4 thun akan dtg
aku DIWAJIBKAN study tanpa
memikirkan idea2 or plan lain
termasukla idea and plan kami
yg korg ade bace sebelum2 ni...

kalau tak...
mau ade yg masam muka kang...
me... him with my family...

kami pun dah berbual kjap td...
bincang balik elok2 mcm mana...

and eventhough die mmg assist that
we get on with the plan...
I somehow convinced him not to...

sbb my family will totally object and go nuts
go bananas if they heard about our plan...
for my family here...
ACADEMIC IS THE MOST NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

and the last thing I want is a fight with them
eventhough all I do is hating it at the back all this while

but, SHIT they are very good brainwasher...
DAMN IT !!!!!!!

everything dah decide ikut plan...
study...
and its not that I don't want to continue study

I totally do...

and after a long discussion...
I think the best we can do for everyone sake is...
wait till I finished my final exam on my last year...

then we can go further...

he is totally understanding with my situation...
even he isn't really agree how they works 2 torture me..
he is giving me strength... spirit...
to get on...
confort me with his words
giving his words as guarantee...

that as long as we are together...
or as long as we trust each other...
be there for one another...
we gonna be fine and ok...
sort of calming me down...

so far everything has been great...
so I chosed to continue believing it...
have faith in him...

so my dear...
just another 4 years more from 1000 years
I hope we can deal with it together...

and thats y when you said you could do it
you would do it...
and you are willing to go through it...
I almost burst into tears...
coz I know I have you with me...

and thats y...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
MR SAIFUDIN... :)

your patience is our gain... ^_^
that I promise you...
like Ibu said...
this is for our own future...
and maybe...
thats true...
coz I can't live without you...

this is so not my original life plan...
but I guess this is another exception
I was willing 2 gave...
for you...


I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey
You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes, the way you say
You make it hard for breathing

'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one

There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking, ooh
I can't live without you
'Cause baby, two
Is better than one

There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I figured out with all that's said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

take my hand and never let it go

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Get The Hell Out Of MY Life NOSSY PEOPLE!!!

Aku selalu complain pasal family aku
FINE
aku tau diorg kononnya
just jaga and take care la sgt an
x nak aku wat kesilapan la

etc... blah blah blah...
tp makin membuat aku tension adelah kot...
eeeeeeeeeeee
geram...
saket aty
benci....

oh tidak suka begitu!!!

I mean...
ape lgi yg diorg nak?
Aku dah buktikan kan?
X cukup2 ke....!

dulu mase aku masuk form 6
sape yg sokong?
Xde sape2

selain abah and family ibu
and kak cik sorg...

semua bantah...
semua halang...
diorg kata itu semua satu kesilapan...
yg aku dah pilih jalan paling bodoh and salah
sebab form 6 tu susah
and diorg rase or fikir
aku x kan mampu
diorg kata tu sume buang mase
alasan bg aku utk main2 and suke2

tp sebetulnya...
diorg x tau...

seligat2 aku ni keluar berjalan...
dating2 pun...
hadap2 tv sekalipun...
muzik kuat2 dlm bilik pun...
facebook2 and blogger2 sekalipun...

aku still tau balance and control hidup aku...

so hujung mggu ni
mmg kna kawah berapi la lagi sekali
for sure
and aku sbnrnya dah naik meluat
menyampah and muak dgn semua ni...

so kalau aku x tahan sgt...
THE BACK UP PLAN”
akan jadi kenyataan....

tp tgkla cmne an...

utk korg2 yg sebok2 ni...
tolong la...

get the hell out of my life...
coz i've had enough!!!
and I am soooo tired with this...
making me pissed off right now!

HATING THE WAY THEY DO IT!!!

Abah Bwk G Dinner > best best

A nite to celebrate...

ari yg aku dpt result tu
aku tggalkan result dkt abah
before keluar celebrate...
aku tgk die diam je...

no reaction at all...

aku dah mula cuak...
nak kate die happy x jgk...
sedih or marah x jgk...

aku jd pelik smcm je lah kan....

balik tu die pggil aku...
dlm hati dah bersiap sedia ni
berdoa la kan...
takut beliau akan bersyarah pnjg marh2
(ces negatif sgguh aku ketika tu)

rupanya...
die x fhm sgt dgn result tu...
aku pun mengambil mase 15 minit
mengexplain kat abah...
mcm mane utk fhm result STPM...
(siap dgn calculator and jln pengiraan)
>maklum jelah bpk aku org matematik ni<

hahhahaha

selepas setel...
beliau pun gerak ke atas
aku tanpa feeling relax jelah...

sekejap tu die kate
ha dah,siap cepat”
-ketika aku sdg sdp2 bergayut dgn ija-
hehehe :-p

rupanya...
mlm tu kami sume
(ibu, ayah, aku and abah)
g dinner yg
keseluruhannya di sponsored
oleh abah....

kitorg g mkn nasi arab kat smbn
and aku smpt lgi mengepau abah
a bar of hazelnut dairy milk chocolate...

hehehehe
so agak happy ending la disitu kot... :)