Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Being Brave And Dare Myself Again To Risk

Assalamualaikum 
and hye everyone,

Hari2 sbelumnya sebenarnya 
hati tertanya2 dgn perasaan sendiri.
Mungkin aku masih rasa sakit itu lagi.
Ketakutan itu lagi.
Terluka itu sangat sakit.

Kekecewaan itu sendiri bisa 
membunuh kebahagiaan hati.
Aku jadi tidak berani melangkah.
Was-was apa yg ada 
dihadapan mata sendiri.
Walaupun cinta itu 
tidak terungkap, x terkata.

Meski tidak mencari, 
tidak menjangka 
aku bertemunya,
Dia adalah hadiah dan 
kurniaan terindah tika ini.

Dan aku mahu ia kekal begitu
 hingga ke akhirnya.
Tapi mungkin itu yg aku takutkan,
Takut apa yg terjadi bkn 
seperti pengharapan.
Mendalamnya apa yg aku rasakan,

Aku jadi takut utk meneruskan 
mahupun menanti mahupun 
melangkah kehadapan.

Namun aku berterima kasih 
dia memberikan aku kepercayaan
 dan keyakinan semula.

Membuat aku yakin dgn dirinya, 
dgn hatinya, dgn rasa cinta 
yg diberikan olehnya.

SNT, sy x mencari awak, 
sy x berharap menemui sesiapa,
Lebih2 lagi secepat ini. 
Sbnrnya sy lg berhrp 
tidak menemui sesiapa.

Namun takdir mmg x terduga,
 bkn ditangan kita.
X sgka awk akan hadir dlm hidup sy.
Memberi erti dan nafas baru.
Awak buat sy rasa bahagia.
Terima kasih byk utk itu.

Selepas byk bercerita tntg awk,
Dgn mata yg dikatakan 
oleh mereka 
penuh bercahaya,
dgn keyakinan yg terserlah,
saya tau, y nk terus dgn awk…
selamanya.

Ingat janji kita?
I never thought I’m gonna say this again.
But SNT, I love you. I do.
You make me realise 
a lot of things I never see before.

Thanks a lot for everything.
And,...I miss you.




Monday, December 16, 2013

More than annoyed for not-mine works.

Assalamualaikum and good day all…
*even though it CLEARLY WASN’T A GOOD DAY FOR ME
In a way I am not complaining,
It’s just that I really hate to do somebody’s job…
Ok, it was a work that’ll help me learn, but still.
I was feeling heavy about the great flow after 5 months of nothing,
Then, I was actually in pain and not in a very good health
And in the last week of semester we were revealed our carry marks.
Yes, it helps u targeting for finals.
But, seriously it bothers you.
Confidence is nothing without the outcome.
Doing double, triple work which is not yours…
Seriously annoying!
Oh, f the s. seriously.

When u are in pain, not in good mood, 
its not fun to be pressure on. 
especially by fussy puss.
you feel like slapping someone. seriously.

Monday, December 2, 2013

The Poem For Someone Again...After A Long Time.

You made me smile
You made me 
think of you every second
You made me drift away 
from the real world
You made me 
stand up on my own
You made me the 
happiest in a day
You made me cry for 
the right reason
You made me feel touched
You made me 
felt appreciated
You made me realize 
it’s a real world out there
You made me stumble 
from missing you
You made me live the dream 
when I am still awake
You made me trust, believe, 
and risk again
You made me dare to try again
And lastly, 
you made me fall 
for someone again.

Thank you for that :) 





Wednesday, November 13, 2013

"The Story Of An Hour"-Kate Chopin- The story of US.

The Story Of An Hour By Kate Chopin
Selected Literary Work

K, honestly, cerita pendek ni berjaya
buat aku menangis bila baca.
Kalau ikutkan cite ni 
xdelah sesedih mana pun.
At least x la sedih sgt sbnrnya
sampai aku perlu emo bila baca.

Tp tetap menyentuh hati
sampai bila bljr review short story ni
aku boleh jd depressed dlm kelas td
and buat poem tanpa aku sedari.

Dgn x sengaja air mata ni 
meleleh je ke pipi.
X sgka jgk sbnrnya tu tadi.
Seolah2 jd beku skjp 
dan nadi terhenti.
Anyway, meh cite sikit 
psl short story ni…

Kisah ni adalah tentang seorg isteri yg baru dpt berita suami dia dah xde. Tp die sedih kjp je dan hepi sbb dia bebas drpd hidup bersama dgn suami die yg dlm cerita ni seorg yg ok.tp menggangu emosi die. So at the end die dpt tau suami die hidup lg then die plk mati terkejut or heart attack.

Ape yg cube aku nyatakan..
One, aku ni tersgtla sensitif 
skrg especially cite2 camni

2nd, aku rse cerita ni 
sgtla cerita kitorg,
3rd, terlalu byk significance yg sama.

Our marriage was a fine one.
But then, I lost who I really am.
That’s the matter.
I became someone he 
really want me to be.
Someone he EXPECT me to be.
I just be who I should be instead 
of who I want to be.
I am supposed to be 
doing my responsibility
And my heart was tortured 
long enough and suffered.

Sama mcm watak dlm cite ni. 
I became someone else.
Not known as Zarina.
But, …..’s wife
……’s daughter in law
I lost-ed ME.
I will never became who I was 
before this again..
She is not here anymore.

No longer being the strong 
and tough one.
She had collapse in her grief 
and sadness and 
stumble to move on.
Gripping to survive and 
trying very hard to stand up.

Even though I know there are still
Many thing to be happy for,
To be celebrated for,
To be cheerish of in life…
But still a part of me was gone.
Half of me…
Because all of this while,
 He has always been 
the centre of my life.

She always worship him on 
the sake of her duty as a wife.
Anyway, after he let me go,
I thought there are still 
a lot of thing could be happening.

It takes time…
A LOT OF TIME REALLY…
I didn’t say it is going to be easy…
Its hard. I felt loss everyday.
I miss him each day with 
so much misery inside.

But, what all of that are for?
What its worth to feel so,
For someone that being 
so mean to me 
as if I’m the dog.

Teling the truth, 
my heart cries.
I wont deny that 
I am sobbing in front 
of the laptop now.
But he doesn’t worth it.

I admit he was a good 
and responsible one in everything.
But he forgot one thing.
My feelings. 
My heart races for him.

What can I say, when 
he… just…forgot.
That’s the mentally abuse 
or violence in this story.
But, mine is not that 
so much short story.

Still, he does not abuse me, 
he just, forgot.
Forgot how much we 
have been in love with...
once.

Compared to me,
when we were still married
that’s what on my mind mostly.
And to tell the truth,
Sometimes I miss the way
 I’ve been known by 
…’s wife than rather just me.

But, now I know that’s 
the best for me, and him.
Me? It always been oppression
 towards everything.
And, depressed. 
That’s what I am suffering of.
I am sick, yes. Its a disease.
That’s the medical term for it.
And he just, cant handle 
that and accept it.

Ya Allah, help me to be 
the alive one with souls.
Rather than a skeleton 
with nothing to live on.
Amin Ya rabbal Alamin.

Live life to the fullest today,
Coz u might not see 
the bright sunshine tomorrow.

I miss you abang, I really do.
I miss everything we 
used to have together.
I miss you, the OLD you.
The one I know that 
always on my back.
Not the one who let me go.
But I know Allah knows best.
Live your life happily abang,…
May one day I will finally 
get to let you go off my heart.



Sunday, November 10, 2013

I Was An Imaginative Kids Once,But World Teach Me The Truth.

Masa aku kecik2...
Aku sgt imaginative.
Aku selalu imagine 
cerita yg happy ending.
Main pondok2... 
i got to be a good housewife.

And i wish i can be that good 
when it was the real situation.
Aku imagine bile dh bsr aku akan 
jd cikgu or actually lawyer.

Ade gaji 4 angka lps grad dri 
Uni yg terer mcm UKM
Ade kete besar2 
*time tu berangan Mercedez jela.
Ade rumah bsr2 dgn
swimming pool kat dalam.

Never I know that i would 
really fall for the guy 
that i was playing with. 

Tp tu cte lama la.
Anyway, lps tu aku imagine 
aku akan ade family sendiri,

A good loving husband 
who love me unconditionally.
With 4 or 6 kids maybe.
But, thats all in the dream. 

Life is not as easy as 
we thought or imagine.
Growing up, i realised 
that not all dreams came true.
I got the chance of being a wife.
It was for a while. 
Taken away from me so soon,
The pain was hard to deny. 

It wasn’t easy as main pondok2.
Thats how imaginative children are.
But world shows me it wasn’t 
what meant to happend.
They teach me 
that’s not gonna happend. 

By the time I realised 
it was all fantasy,
Its too late.Imagination.
Take it too seriously...
and the next thing you know,
you are in for it.