Feel like a total jerk and selfish... :-(

Assalamualaikum and 
salam sejahtera everyone...

dalam hidup kita x pernah sunyi dari diuji, x pernah sunyi dari rase down, hopeless, useless... and sometime... kite akan rase... we are total ass or useless or total jerk... a douche bag... ok more like it... whatever...

harini aku rase camtu, basically sbb kawan2 aku yg telah siapkan surat utk aku and aku tggal sign je... so sgt ase cam dah susahkan diorg sedangkan diorg pun ade benda lain gak nk handle... regret jgk la sbb explosive sgt skrg ni... ermmmm … ^_^”... tq so much tau korg due org...

so, psl feskab... dah ade org ganti... its ok since that is for the best... and I think everything else ok la kot... musim2 gini mmg dah terbiase everything jadi sgt annoying but still, the concern is there and aku pun dah fhm... so x jadi issue la kan...

lastly, td lepas je break fasting session, my abah called... tp kejap jelah then aku kol balik... borak punya borak la... even x tau nk ckp pasal ape sgt kan... but, I could tell he miss me and I do miss him too... well, that will not been totally true coz I have been so selfish lately... with everyone I guess? Erm x tau lah... maybe itu ape yg aku rase je or maybe part of it was true...

when was the last time I call abah? I can't even remember... how bad right? Kalau smpai x egt tu aku ase lama jgk tu... well, thats the selfish I was talking to you about... I was thinking of me and don't even realise these things... I mean, I do think about him, tp kdg2 nak call tu asyik lupe la, tgguh la... x sempat la... xde masa la... dulu I used to criticise iklan pasal ni coz I thought x logik kot bile kata xde masa utk parents sendiri... now I am one of them... which I dun wanna be like them at all... I wanna be with my abah whenever he needs me... but somehow somewhat, sometime I failed to do that...

and arini after 10 days aku x call abah... *finally egt sbb tgk diary... * and bercadang nak call... rupanya abah yg call aku dulu... selepas borak2... aku pun tanya... ada ape td abah? (mane la tau kot2 ade benda penting ke kan) pastu abah just cakap... “xdelah saje telipon, dah lame x telipon” serius, sentap... rase mcm baru bgun tdo dgr ayat abah tu... ermmmm … ni lah first time mmg aku drag lama gile x call abah... kalau x dlm seminggu tu mesti ade... and dlm sebok2 uruskan byk benda... aku dah abaikan tggungjwb yg satu ni... sedih... :(

yg lain2 pun xde balik, erm kalau ade balik pun bkn nk g dok jmpe abah pun kan... wth la kan... mls ambik tau dah sal diorg...

semoga lps ni aku x lupe lg... and semoga lps ni aku x sesengal ni lg la kan... semoga lps ni sebarang tanggungjawab boleh aku laksanakan dgn baik...amin... ya rabbal alamin...

the song i dedicated for my abah... :)

Trouble Is A Friend ... Stress out sgt2!!!

Assalamualaikum and hye uolls...

exactly, entry aku harini pasal problem...

I mean everyone ade problem masing2 right?

I guess today is just another bad day that occur

just, dah lama since aku betul2 distracted and bad mood

yg bebetul down... crushed sgt2...

truthfully aku just ase down

penat, letih and stress dgn semua bende sekeliling aku ni

macam terlalu byk sgt yg aku nk kena uruskan

walhal aku ase mcm xde la full sgt pun...

just penuh dgn kehulu kehilir

isi borang and buat surat...

it seems like so easy, but I am so tired...

kdg2 tu penat sbb ade perjumpaan

tp mcm xde pape sgt pun lebih kpda hang out je

kalau aku keep bz... aku leh je steady,

tp bile everything tu mcm saje nak

dibuat sambil lewa, aku jadi cam...

WHATEVER LA KAN...

and kalau mcm keje berkumpulan tu...

x boleh ke kalau duduk sama2 and buat sama2?

Baru boleh buat dgn baik drpd wat individually kan...

and jgn la hrp and depend kat sorg je utk buat semua...

truthfully aku sgt penat

and aku payah nak berhenti fikir skrg...

even dlm mimpi and tido pun aku still nmpk berfikir lg...

stress kot... byk bende nak kena handle and organise....

okeh, ABADI...

enjoy buat keje but sometime x nmpk sistematik kitorg ramai2 tu

so nak bebetul dedicate pun cam sadis sket la...

hope leh improve g la pasni...

PTU and Singapore

masih bz dgn everything going on...

kdg2 bende tu x complicated tp sgja di complicated kan...

study ok just aku risau tertinggal and sdg catch up

so far it is fine... really want that DL!!! amin...

yg aku risau pasal financial...

yuran cmne beb? Erm =_=”

PTPTN – huh, berhenti berharap... x caye jppel dah...

KPTM – If lucky, second year...

YAYASAN NEGERI – sem 3 kot... since all thay need of me is my husband name... baru boleh luluskan.... (x lahir n9 or parents xde kat n9 x leh mohon)

and now aku juz leh rely on p.zakat ukm and yg pgetua pggil tu je... sedih gile aku rase kot... I mean, aku x kan mintak kat belah ub... never kat diorg... I rather be starve or dead... seriously...

yep, memang aku ego tanak mintak tolong diorg... tp aku ade sebab kukuh kan...? at least they give me one... or gave me enough reason not to do so... well, aku kalau boleh tanak susahkan abah aku kan... ase cam nak mintak duit kat die pun berat je,...

the last one but never the least... I am sure sume org yg sdg lalui fasa mcm aku akan rasa semua ni.. I mean, those who are future wed... ok,here's the thing. Aku jenis ssh beralah... but with him, aku sgt senang mengalah dlm everything and most of the time aku akan setuju je dgn die... UNLESS benda tu mmg x boleh agree langsung... and however, today aku cam trap in this thinking prhase... am I doing such a lot of tolerence already? I mean, aku tau both of us did... its just arini aku mcm “ok,u know what, i've done enough toleration with things” that TOLERATE word isn't just the plain word you say without action anyway...

aku jadi mcm ni because terlalu byk perubahan disana sini dan secara jujur, serius, AKU PENAT... ok, dari segi tarikh berubah … fine, aku tolerate, masa berubah, fine aku tolerate, LAGI SEKALI... but benda ni bukan boleh ambik ringan and pndg sebelah mata... serious aku x leh nak handle bende ni sorg2... byk bnda nk kena buat and it is as if mase tu byk sgt je lg...

our big day is just another 3 months and half... and lots of things need to be done before that... a lot of preparation... sume org tgh concern about this... and so do we, people... its just that we need to organise it very well... well, wedding don't just happened in ur life right? Its not everyday... it is once in your life,.. time... ever... my point is, me and my family tolerate psal bnda2 ni and aku fhm, family die pun... cuma dlm menguruskan bnda ni x boleh la nak beratkan and nk pk kan sebelah pihak je... it is obviously not fair... mmg dua2 sacrifice a lot, its just we need to be more stronger and understanding with both parties here... hopefully everything will be well after this...

aku kesian dgn family aku, I really love them, even they are not the one who raise me... before, but they are the one who raise me now... at least raise my strength to be strong enough now... so aku sendiri rase ralat and terkilan.. x pernah dibenarkan balik sana... but now aku balik dgn kemahuan sendiri, becoz that is my family and I am proud of it... and now when I am getting married, all of sudden aku cam rely on them,. Yes mmg tggjwb diorg but aku tanak la susahkan diorg... at least aku nk buat sama2... not just lepas tgn and just dtg je masa wedding tu tanpa buat ape2.. but that exactly what will happen, so mmg la aku rase uneasy..

aku balik sana, bukan hanya sebab nak mintak restu utk our wedding, eventhough that is one of the reason... but not the huge or main reason... my main reason is aku nak tebus balik masa2 yg aku terlepas dgn family aku dulu... 20 years is a long time... so, I wanna be there 4 them in times of they need me, as much as they have been 4 me all of this years... I really miss them right now... so much...

so people, sebelum aku teary eye disini... eloklah aku undur diri dulu, nk buat revision sket and aku nak release jap stress... maybe just listen to some kind of music whatsoever... goodnight everyone,... wassalam... tq 4 reading... :)

This things is no joke everyone!

Assalamualaikum & salam sejahtera semua =)

so, lately aku x byk sgt menulis...

or even menaip utk entry blog...

pandai2 cari mase la utk entry baru 4 diary and blog...

Anyway, hari ni kita terus masuk cerita2 penting k... almost unbelievable, I am incredibly busy with things around here. I mean, masuk2 je sem 2 dgn result 3.39 pointer with 4 a and 2 b aku agak teruja even if aku ase agak tercabar dgn result aku sendiri. For this second semester I promise myself to do even more better than that marks... hopefully I can do it... amin. Ade la few of my friends who get it through the dean list... I really want to accomplish that level too. At least dpt gak rase kepuasan dgn ape yg kita study kan... this semester I am taking 6 subject with 16 credit hours and doing 3 mega project basically.

Seronok masuk sem 2 becoz kite mcm dah tau ape nak buat, mane nak g. wlpn belum familiar sgt or habes discover ukm ni lg, but at least aku cam fhm sket how the system work out. So at least jd cam seronok sket la sem ni. Teruja utk everything... so far kelas mmg seronok sgt and wlpn penat dgn mcm2 aktiviti, aku masih enjoy campus life ni. Cume satu jelah... sikap penat and xde stamina tu kdg2 sgt melampau je. Tp hopefully I can overcome la kan...

Ko-K... aku sedang handle 3 projek mega. Ketiga tiga projek ni aku adalah sebagai cik setiausaha. First projek PTU 2012 (PEKAN TEATER UKM) – then projek Semarak ASEAN kat Singapore – then ABADI pulak on May + aku lak head of permanently tele-marketing crew. So korg mmg boleh bygkan kan mcm mana sibuknya aku dlm urusan seharian aku sem ni...

Last but not least, aku sdg uruskan byk benda 4 the big day of our life x lama lg... byk dokumen nk kena proses lg... bende2 nk kena booking lg... survey mcm2 lg... so dlm keseronokan plan tu aku jgk ase letih sket sbb pening sket nk uruskan byk bende kan... this wedding business people, is no kidding and no joke !

So everyone, just wait for the latest news of me... au revoir =)

Just a reminder among us...

Assalamualaikum wbt

salam sejahtera everyone... =)

harini entry aku adelah pasal 14 february...

kenapa aku rase nak je menulis hari ni?

Sbb 14 february or bulan february ni,

kalau bukak tv and flip every channel je

mesti cerita yg sweet2...

yes, that was ok and fine...

tp ape yg x ok nye bila mentaliti remaja kini tersasar

menyambut hari Valentine yg x sepatutnya tidak lg jadi issue.

Sbb dah sah2 dari dulu lagi telah pun di beritahu...

Valentine, hukum menyambutnya adalah HARAM

dan BERDOSA BESAR bagi orang Islam...

Bukan nak kata aku ni baik sgt la kan

I mean bercinta jgk tp ade lhg hari lain
yg boleh tunjukkan kasih syg

x semestinya hari ni kan...

everyday is a loving someone day...

nak share jgk... mase sekolah rendah dulu...

aku pernah kantoi gak la tulis kad Valentine...

khas utk crush aku... hahahaha :-p

bile ingat balik kelakar jgk ase nak gelak guling2 je...

walhal baru la darjah 6... geli kot!!! hahahaha

tp lepas tu aku ditegur and mula faham knapa

sambutan hari Valentine ni HARAM hukumnya...

so sejak darjah 6 tu... aku dah mula ignore je 14 february

walaupun aku masih ase sweet bile aku tgk movie...

tu kes lain ok, we did not celebrate so it is still fine kot...

cinta itu subjektif,peeps...

cinta yg hakiki kepada Allah S.W.T itu kan lebih baik dan agung???

cinta kepada baginda Rasullulah itukan lebih mulia???

adakah cinta lain yg lebih baik dari itu???

sehingga kita melanggar batas2 manusia?

lagi satu... for the information la...

ini die sebenarnya sejarah Valentine if ade lg yg x baca:

Saint Valentine's Day, often simply Valentine's Day,is a holiday observed on February 14 honoring one or more early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine. It was first established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD, and was later deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. Today, it is celebrated in over 100 countries around the world, mostly of the Western society, although remaining a full workday for all of them.

The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. By the 15th century, it had evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines").

Modern Valentine's Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-producedgreeting cards.

UKM Exam Entry + Crystal Clear =)

Assalamualaikum

dan selamat mlm

kali ni entry pasal exam...

x boleyh le memanjang bagai sbb jap g

nak start berperang dgn notes language linguistic

sgt la kannnnn....

ok, a quotes for today's entry is...

“disebalik setiap kelukaan itu

akan menjelma suatu keindahan dikemudiannya”

“disebalik kesedihan dan kemuraman itu

akan timbul sinaran mentarinya”

ecececeh...

berperang dgn musim exam mmg sgt chaos

the crazyness and chaotic yg kitorg rase

sgt overwhelming...pressure...

and it is not fun at all...

tp bak kata kawan aku,

mmg mustahil la nak senang dlm exam...

ibarat berjuang ditengah lautan...

kalau tiada gelombang dan ombak,

apalah ertinya...

mak ai kau tinggi gile bhasa sastera

maklumlah sejak2 roomate pun org sastera ni

mengasah bakat la masing2... hehehe

ha berkenaan first paper...

PEMBANGUNAN DIRI INSANIAH

memang bg aku terbaik gile...

sbb mmg dah aim paper tu...

so alhamdulilah...

rase hepi, puas hati and ase mcm dah all out sgt...

gave my best!!! so, no regret kat situ...

first time exam kat UKM, so aku cam

culture shock sket tgk tmpt exam...

rules and jadual, and also behaviour dlm exam.

Dewan DECTAR yg sebesar2 alam tu jadi first battlefield kitorg.

Then KDTAMS... sgt la besar until can contain 

thousand something kot?

Sgt2 la semangat exam …

Second paper...

COMPUTER IN EDUCATION

aku mmg mampu senyum je sambil jawab

sbb paper ni mmg kitorg dah expect akan buat kepala pusing

so, entahlah, rasenye dah bg yg terbaik.

So, dpt harap akan ok jelah...

Third paper harini...

TEACHING PROFESSION

so, ermmmm agak down sbb formatnya...

kitorg diinform 80 obj and 1 essay..

tp td 5 soalan essay...

aku dah bg all out and mampu doa je

harap yg terbaik utk paper tu...

even I have to shed my tears utk

back to the ground, tp alhamdulilah

I feel so much better afterwards...

tido kejap and dikejutkan oleh cik Saif tersyg

dgn suara die yg sgt2 ceria tu...

gelak tawa pengubat jiwa tu...

hahahaha (hambek kau!)

so mmg hilang la segala resah gelisah bagai

yg dah beberapa hari dlm diri aku ni...

everything seems more clearly now

much much more clearly 

than it ever been before

setiap dugaan,ujian dan cabaran itu...

cuma akan mencerminkan betapa kuat rase

dan keyakinan kita kpd seseorg itu...

and one fact that is crystal clear 4 me

no matter how many people come and go

no matter how much hurt 

they have brought to me

but, he is the joy that belongs to me...

and I will never turn to choose someone else...

ever,...

because I realise,

he is the one and only person

I wish I belongs to... :)

before,now,and after... always =)

so, au revoir everyone...

gotta go,..

hopefully with much more sense of relax after this...

*Crossing fingers for the next2 paper

*hopefully they will be nice to me... ^_^

~AMIN~

Tajuk nak Tacink Lebey??? Setia...? ke??? urm?

ASSALAMUALAIKUM and goodnight

Malam ni kampus UKM sunyi sepi,

Almaklumla minggu exam kan… 

so most of them

Ape lagi,… revision la… aku???

Hahaha paper CE dah setel…

Teaching Profession mmg jap2 lg la kan…

Mlm ni aku teringin sgt nak tulis satu entry baru…

Hati ni rase ditarik-tarik utk menulis  

dan meluahkan…

First of all tentang satu perjuangan 

yg disalah ertikan…

Mcm sedih la tgk bende2 gitu jd… 

erm malas nk komen lebih2

Kang org salah anggap pulak…

Tabahlah our dear hero!

Secondly, tentang something yg dinamakan kesetiaan…

Apa maksudnya kesetiaan tu bg korg2 sume… ???

Ok,here’s the thing…

Ade seseorg ni… die ni dah pun dimiliki oleh seseorg

Dan die sgt syg…sgt cinta dgn seseorg tu…

Sampai org tu xde galang gantinye kat die…

Tp… at the same time,

Die still ade satu lg relationship…

Or aku boleh kata affair dgn org lain…

Walaupun die dgn org lain ni x cinta satu sama lain

Let say die saje nak suka2 je

Org lain tu lak ade kepentingan rapat dgn die…

Erm sng citer zaman2 form 6 

kitorg gelar fenomena ni SKANDAL

Sebab dulu ramai yg berskandal even dah ade bf/gf

Bile masuk u aku mmg dah boleh agak

aku akan jumpe kes2 or cite2 mcm ni

and berlaku dekat sgt dgn aku dan aku nmpk

apa yg sebenarnya terjadi kat 2 org ni…

ramai yg kata… 

“weyh,kalo dah ade skandal tu 

mmg namanye curang la”

memang x setia la… mmg cheating la… 

mmg unfaithful la…

aku pun xtau nk jwb ape kpd kes ni…

just aku boley ckp…

if korg sendiri…

jd kat korg…

korg suke ke kalau psgn korg buat gitu???

Hehehe jawapnye lu pk la sendiri…

Pandai2 la bawak diri…

And sape yg mkn cili die la terasa pdsnyer…

Haishhhh mcm2 kes!!! =_=”

Sape nk blame???

Walhal masing2 sedar ape yg diorg buat tu salah…

Hurmmmm… ?

Student Life Lately...

ASSALAMUALAIKUM W.B.T

selamat pagiiii... 

saye mmg pun hobi dok menulis pepagi nih...

renung dashboard yg dah menunjukkan jam 3.50 am.

X reti2 nak tido ker??? jap g nak g lah ni kan...

just nak ceritera ukm sket...

ape dah jadi lately...

so,okeh... mane nak mention dulu???

study?

Everything is good I guess...

eventhough mmg tergolek sane sini sket sesetgh subjek tuh...

such as CIE,LangLing,.. hehehe tp setakat ni boley handle g

just have to be improve la kan... (smgt giler)

inspired as burning candle in the night...

frenz?

Great... they are all awesome...

sume geng2 and kengkawan at ukm mmg terbaek...

however...

aku still jgk rindu dgn geng2 yg lain...

bestnye kalau sume dpt kumpul...

syok giler! :)

ntah bile la masenye tu kan... (^_^) *winking

anyway...

since aku jejak ukm...

ape yg aku nmpk... aku sgt lah aktif

sometime over energetic...

and pastu mula la weak batery...

low and tido secukup rase...

hahaha

tp tgk bab disiplin and so on mmg byk improve la

drpd duk umah, prgai sgt hampes

wlpn bapak aku dah mcm cikgu disiplin... :-p

ko-k?

Sgt2 memeningkan kepala sbb mmg cam sengal...

but aku tetap menjoinkan diri...

masuk teater... 

berlakon? Erm aritu dah shining jap mase BMP closing nite

MALAM SENI BERPUTIK :)

and now? Join MAKUM and Festival Seni...

so hope everything goes well..

on stage or backstage...

x kesah la janji participate...

plus, it is theater...

something yg aku dah minat sgt2 lama... :)

doesn't mean I am talented enough,really...

tapi, boley blaja lagi kan... :)

hokeh...

bab lain?

I am financially broke...

hahaha hope everything will be alright soon...

ngehhhhh... amin...

so that is all my student life...

yg kdg2 pandai dah dok selit sane sini

noty you...

(skip prog) hahaha

whatever...

so till my next post.. c ya!!!