I Know & I Do Believe... :)

Berdasarkan hatinya...

die x payah ckp...

aku dah tau and dpt agak

ape die nak kata...

die x pyh suarakan...

aku tau ape yg die fikirkan...

die x payah tunjukkan...

aku dpt rase ape yg die rase...

die x payah luahkan...

sbb hati aku turut ingin luahkan

sesuatu yg sama...

fight for something

or someone

that you appreciate the most

in your life ... :)

and thats y...

I believe ^_^ ...

Hurtful quotes which means a lot to me :"-(

All of these quotes are actually taken by me

at some website...

but it feels like every of these quotes

represent what I felt today...

so, NUR ZARINA MOHAMAD

says...

I keep myself busy with things to do, but everytime I pause, 

I still think of you.

It hurts to breathe, because every breath I take proves that I 

can't live without you.

I guess when your heart gets broken, you begin to see the 

cracks in everything.

The sky isn't always blue, the sun doesn't always shine, it's 

alright to fall apart sometimes.

So tears describe words that heart can't say.

It's just one of those days Where I just want to disappear, 

To get away from everything, Because I hate my life here. 

Dying seems less sad than having lived too little. 

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart 

doesn't cry. And just because she comes off strong, doesn't 

mean there's nothing wrong. 

I'm digging my way to something better. i'm sowing the 

seeds I take for granted. This thorn in my side is from the 

tree I planted. And it tears me and I bleed 

grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, 

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to 

hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me 

off. 

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never 

lose infinite hope. 

"When you left, I lost a part of me" 

"I hate this feeling, it's one I know all to well, it's a thing 

called heartbreak and it hurts like hell" 

"Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space” 

Antara KEMAHUAN, KEINGINAN, KEPERLUAN, KEHENDAK, KEPENTINGAN dan KEUTAMAAN (inspired for myself)

Post aku kat wall FB td...

yg aku nak kongsi sikit disini...

and citekan or explain kat korg satu2

ape yg aku maksudkan...

~antara KEMAHUAN dan KEINGINAN~

~antara KEPERLUAN dan KEHENDAK~

~antara KEPENTINGAN dan KEUTAMAAN~

yg mana satu kita akan pilih

demi kebaikan semua???

tapi persoalannya...

mampu ke aku ikut sendiri apa yg aku tulis tu???

itulah jgk yg aku ckp waktu nasihatkan dak2 upper 6 td

sbb walaupun kata2 itu hampir sama...

tp istilah dan definisi nya berbeza sgt2...

cube tafsirkan satu persatu...

aku kaji BM setahun setengah eh...

ade lain2 maksud perkataan yg hampir sama tu...

bagi diri aku...

kata2 tu mmg terkena sgt pada diri sendiri...

okeh...

dlm hidup aku cth nye...

setiap kata2 tu bermaksud...

KEMAHUAN

segala kemahuan aku dari kecik dulu

segala kemahuan keluarga aku...

segala impian dlm diri aku yg mmg

dah ditetapkan dari dulu dlm jln hidup aku

kemahuan semua pihak...

kemahuan aku dlm kejayaan...

semua tulah...

KEINGINAN

segala keinginan aku utk rasa

seperti memiliki sesuatu yg berharga

or at least sesuatu yg istimewa...

something special...

or keinginan utk jd wild or

ikut kata hati and

heart instinct la org kata...

KEPERLUAN

keperluan utk survive...

rohani, intelek, jasmani, emosi...

>rohani selalu nya dikaitkan dgn keagamaan or

unsur2 ketenangan gitu la kan...

>intelek lebih kpd pemikiran kita and academic

>jasmani pulak more tu kesihatan and fizikal la

>emosi lebih kpd perasaan yg kita rasakan...

semua aspek / elemen tu ade keperluan

yg tersendiri and unik utk dipenuhi...

keperluan2 ni mesti dipenuhi utk terus hidup...

KEHENDAK

apa yg kita nak utk hidup lebih selesa

and lebih bahagia la sng citer...

sesuatu yg x terhad and sesuatu

yg x boleh kite kawal or penuhi

sbb byk sgt kehendak dlm diri kite...

sampai kdg2 menimbulkan konflik dalaman

dah complicated lak jadinya...

bile semua kehendak x dpt ditunaikan

kan???

sbb mustahil utk memenuhi semua nya

dlm satu mase betul x?

I mean kite bukannya boleh lwan takdir

or betulkan sesuatu yg dah lps...

hidup bkn dibawah kawalan kite...

kite cuma merancang...

tp ALLAH s.w.t yg lebih mengetahui and merancang

kehidupan kite...

(ape kes dah mcm dlm kelas ekonomi cikgu Jam and kelas Tasawwur lak ni???)

KEPENTINGAN

setiap individu perlu kan

penetapan and plan hidup mereka...

important element...

what is so important to them they should be focusing on?

Of coz la mencapai kejayaan dlm kehidupan dunia and akhirat

kan???

KEUTAMAAN

in any other word

priority...

or

PRIORITIES

sbb in life...

you got many different choices

and it is up to you to decide...

or in my case other decided...

but like everyone kept telling me...

>FOR MY OWN GOOD<

for goodness sake...

can't I just be thankfull and say THANKS???

but also...

I got other priority in my life...

my mind...

it is him...

but this is obviously not a priority

according to others

its just that

it is one of my number one priority...

the feeling of belongings....

felt like I belong there instead of here...

and half of me has been divided...

50 there

50 here...

I could die if I kept thinking about this whole thing

(just kidding and being sarcastic)

So what I can say is...

life doesn't work like we hope it turn up to be

it is not happening our own way...

life doesn't just go like what you want or planned...

you are the one who will just

have to go with the flow

let the time and destiny decide

coz everything has been fate and fix for you...

maybe what we thought the best for us

is not

and maybe what we thought less important

is the most we need...

life is a mystery

the one we have to discover with faith

believe and trust...

sometime it does feel like

completing a jigsaw puzzle...

or sudoku...

its compicated...

but we will always found the pieces

whenever we less expect it...

peculiar things happened...

and we asked ourself... WHY???

But everything is happening for a reason...

and that is the thing that will make you believe

in whats true or not...

and will make you calm down

in the time u need it the most...

the time we need to hold on to something...

those words are most of the time soothing our mind off...

nobody is perfect...

that I admit...

and everyone ade rezeki masing2

INSYA ALLAH

we will find our way...

so walaupun hidup aku x mcm yg aku set

dari kecik dulu...

sbb tibe2 ade satu virus positif

yg menyerang and muncul dlm hidup aku ni...

virus yg buat aku happy all the time...

x lelap tido...

x kenyang bile mkn...

x basah bile mandi...

and virus ni muncul setiap kali aku bernafas...

setiap kali degupan jantung bergerak...

tp aku bersyukur sgt kerana

dgn kehadiran virus ni

aku sedar erti hidup...

dan kerana virus ni...

aku rase senang

thays y I love this virus...

and x nak delete sampai bile2...

ngeeeee :)

(kritikal sungguh , saket2... !!!)

tapi aku yakin...

semuanya akan ok...

nanti, satu hari...

everything will be fine...

INSYA ALLAH...

^_^

tough girl...

superpowerwoman

Mahkamah Bersidang Harini... Redha dgn Keputusan Walaupun Perit...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t …

pembuka kata aku hari ni...

tadi baru je semua berkumpul

utk kawah berapi lagi sekali...

ade la mcm persidangan meja2 bulat gak kot...

diorg berbincang pasal result aku je and

kemana aku nk g pasni...

serta plan2 hidup aku seterusnya...

xdelah menyentuh bab2 personal sgt td...

tp most on academic la kan...

mendengar je aku ade apply SPA

membuat ade antara mereka yg terkejut giler2...

sbb x sgka idea utk keje tu timbul dlm minda aku.

So diorg pun confront aku about the working idea

and said

>knpe lak aku nk keje since keputusan aku ok

and leh lagi smbung blaja...

so diorg pun berbincang and decide

that working or working while studying is totally

unacceptable and impossible...

so NO NO NO...

larangan...

(terasa mcm dgr2 je bunyi ketukan kayu in court)

pasal LAW plak...

diorg mmg x approve lgsg...

sbb diorg kata keje tu ssh nk dpt

subjek tu berat nak bwk...

(takut aku x mampu)

gaji pun biase2...

then susah cuti..

pastu lak diorg kata

kalau salah defend...

kite yg kna tggung dosa...

hurmmmmmmmmmmm....

K FINE!!!

aku let go je bab LAW even aku ltak gak LAW tu

dlm pilihan choices termasuk

HD dgn HR...

and aku ltak gak TESL …

if possible mmg nak apply UKM dgn UPM

antara due tulah

x la dekat and x la jauh...

so kire ok la...

skrg just tggu result je mcm mane...

so mmg dlm 3-4 thun akan dtg

aku DIWAJIBKAN study tanpa

memikirkan idea2 or plan lain

termasukla idea and plan kami

yg korg ade bace sebelum2 ni...

kalau tak...

mau ade yg masam muka kang...

me... him with my family...

kami pun dah berbual kjap td...

bincang balik elok2 mcm mana...

and eventhough die mmg assist that

we get on with the plan...

I somehow convinced him not to...

sbb my family will totally object and go nuts

go bananas if they heard about our plan...

for my family here...

ACADEMIC IS THE MOST NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

and the last thing I want is a fight with them

eventhough all I do is hating it at the back all this while

but, SHIT they are very good brainwasher...

DAMN IT !!!!!!!

everything dah decide ikut plan...

study...

and its not that I don't want to continue study

I totally do...

and after a long discussion...

I think the best we can do for everyone sake is...

wait till I finished my final exam on my last year...

then we can go further...

he is totally understanding with my situation...

even he isn't really agree how they works 2 torture me..

he is giving me strength... spirit...

to get on...

confort me with his words

giving his words as guarantee...

that as long as we are together...

or as long as we trust each other...

be there for one another...

we gonna be fine and ok...

sort of calming me down...

so far everything has been great...

so I chosed to continue believing it...

have faith in him...

so my dear...

just another 4 years more from 1000 years

I hope we can deal with it together...

and thats y when you said you could do it

you would do it...

and you are willing to go through it...

I almost burst into tears...

coz I know I have you with me...

and thats y...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

MR SAIFUDIN... :)

your patience is our gain... ^_^

that I promise you...

like Ibu said...

this is for our own future...

and maybe...

thats true...

coz I can't live without you...

this is so not my original life plan...

but I guess this is another exception

I was willing 2 gave...

for you...

I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life and I thought, hey

You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say

You know that it all takes my breath away

And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true

That I can't live without you

And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time

To figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face

The way you roll your eyes, the way you say

You make it hard for breathing

'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away

I think of you and everything's okay

I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true

That I can't live without you

And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time

To figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life and I thought, hey

Maybe it's true

That I can't live without you

And maybe two is better than one

There's so much time

To figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking, ooh

I can't live without you

'Cause baby, two

Is better than one

There's so much time

To figure out the rest of my life

But I figured out with all that's said and done

Two is better than one

Two is better than one

take my hand and never let it go