Thursday, August 25, 2011

CUKUPLAH SEKALI... ONCE IS ENOUGH...


Assalamualaikum and salam sejahtera...

gud morning... (bad day had passed)

anyway... entry aku kali ni agak unik and pelik tajuk nya...

~CUKUPLAH SEKALI~

sgt serius la bunyi tajuknya kan...
anyway... long story short...
I did something stupid and silly today...
sgt ikut kata hati yg tgh emo atau x rasional itu...
cari pleasure utk diri sendiri...

just now... 25/8/2011...
tonight... I betrayed his trust for me...
eventhough he always says to me... “trust is important”
thus, right now I am feeling sooooo bad and guilty deep inside my heart...
I have a confession... I have done something horrible...
and at first I thought I like it... but truthfully...
I don't really enjoy it like I does before...
so I guess I does that just because I wanna know what I would feel after that...
not because I wanted to...

and I know no matter how much I said sorrry or will say...
it wont change a thing... what has happened has happened... and there is nothing I can do to make it turn out to be other way... or make it turn alright, again or as it normally does...
I will always felt this way... xde ape yg dpt buat keadaan jadi mcm sblm ia berlaku... and kenapa aku benarkan ia berlaku... serta ape yg sebenarnya berlaku? Biarlah aku sorg je yg tau... hakikatnya x elok hebah heboh ape yg kite dah buat tp x sepatutnya kita buat... tul x...

don't feel like saying it anyway... its enough to say that I am sorry and regret what I did...
ok,but I think that is enough... doing it once... and I intend not to do it again or let it repeat in any way or circumstances... its just don't feel the same... maybe becoz I know, that may ruin everything I have... and yet, it is wrong and that, simply mistake in there and here...

so,after this, I will be carefull not to repeat the mistake again and again...
gosh I am so fragile and weak...

tuhan, ampuni aku... Ya Allah sesngguhnya aku ini amat lemah dalam meniti ujian Mu... berikanlah aku hidayah dan petunjuk Mu Ya Allah agar aku tidak terus tersasar jauh dari Mu... tingkatkan lah cintaku pada Mu melebihi cintaku pada cinta dunia ini... guide my step don't let me go astray, You are the only one who show me the way... ~amin~

Nur Zarina Binti Mohamad... apa dah jadi pada janji kau kpda diri kau sendiri yg kau x kan ulang apa yg ko dah buat dulu... segala yg kau janji x nak buat lg, knpa ko buat jgk lagi... kecewa dgn diri sendiri yg sggh fragile... Zarina... byk2 kan lah ingat Allah... bwk2 la insaf and bertaubat atas slh slp... hidup kt dunia ni sementara je... bila2 mase Dia boleh pggil kau balik... Astaghfirullahalazim... istighfar dan minta lah ampun serta redha Nya..

Abah, ampunkanlah anakanda mu ni...
yg tiada disisi saat azan berkumandang utk berbuka puasa...
maafkanlah lantaran kesibukan diri ini di tempat kerja...
tiada menemani utk berbicara dan bercerita...
ampunkanlah diri ini yg tiada di hari mulia hari raya nanti,
dan maafkanlah diri ini yg byk melakukan kesalahan dari A-Z...

My dear Saif...
I am so sorry if I ever hurt you, betrayed your trust,
do something behind your back, or even make you mad and upset...
I never meant to do those things to you...
you are the reason I wanna change my life... to be better...
and I wanted you to know, that I love you,
you are the only person in my heart...
the only one who make me truly happy,
truly sincere, and make my eyes glaze with love everytime I turn to your direction... and smile with passion... blissfull gift you are... I am so thankfull that you came into my life...

I wanna change my life, so I fit to be with you...
fit to be standing with you... coz I still think that I am not not good enough to be with you...
thank you for always be with me so far and stand by me all this while... I really appreciate that and what we have... and for real.. you are the only one I wanna be with, spend the rest of my life with...

abg... apa yg boleh menerangkan rasa hati na pada abg, cumalah sebuah lagu yg dari dulu hgga sekarang kekal... ~Sedetik Lebih~ itulah suara hati na utk abg...

so kalian2...
if korg dah memiliki permata yg dicari2...
jgnlah terpukau dgn sinaran mutiara di laut dlm... kerana ia mungkin kaca di dalaman yg kelihatan seperti sinaran indah begemerlapan... tp hakikatnya... membawa kelekaan shgga kita terlupa pada permata yg kita miliki...

x kiralah mcm mane mrh sekalipun kita, jgn ambil jln mudah utk menghilangkannya...
kenanglah momento2 terindah yg pernah hadir mewarnai... nescaya marah itu akan surut serta padam... (disupport oleh Dato' Fadzillah Kamsah) x berbaloi utk ambil jalan singkat...

lg satu... jgn khianati seseorg yg kita syg... sbb mungkin die x kan lg percaya pada kita and die akan terluka and... mgkin melangkah pergi dari hidup kita... so to make sure sume tu x jadi... jagalah sebaik baiknya relationship ituh... nak ke kite kehilangan seseorg semata2 tersalah langkah sekali? Perfecto never came twice... trust me this time... and I won't break it... and now... I am telling the truth... once is enough... cukuplah sekali... I am so sorry...

byk nye aku membebel pagi2 buta ni... 

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