Tuesday, April 3, 2012

About this feelings...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and good day...

its not about the countdown anymore...
its not about the days that passing very quickly...
its not about how long we have been strolling life together...
its about whats gonna happen next...
its about upcoming days...
its about the future we will lead on, very soon together...

After the engagement, we haven't meet each other... until today... yes, its awkward... I'll say that... both of us not really looking face to face when we are talking and all...

We met just for a while, he drop by UKM to deliver these wedding invitation card to me... and then we talk for a while about this matter in his car... he left about 10 minutes later,... it is a very quick conversation between us. And I do understand that when we are engaged, this is how it is supposed to be like...

However, I can't help feeling a bit sad and upset inside... I am so tense I don't need anything else except him by my side even it is just for few hours... I really miss him. I do. But, that is not the matter, I just can't face all of this alone... I am so thankfull I'm going back to my home tomorrow night. Seriously... I can't bear all of this crucial pain alone and deal with this problem by myself... I need a support. And these are the times that will show me who is my real friends and who is not,.. the time that will show who is close to me and be there whenever I need them too, and who is not. Who are my real supporters and who are my enemy... in silence...

We suppose to meet up last Sunday, and it is cancelled when I am already at bus stand... and today I thought we could meet up longer, sit somewhere and discuss, or maybe talk about something else to make the happy thoughts remains... but it did not happen... so I was upset,... I think I still am... I told myself not to be so dependent and spoil... but, I just can't simply let go the hurt and upset I felt in my heart. Its like, everything is just too heavy to hold on now...

I just felt hurt until I can't say a word that don't involve that sadness along... I hope everything will be cure as soon as I were back at Kelantan... since I know perfectly it will... but when I am abck again at UKM... that will haunt me again...

one thing that make it is all worth it... one fact, which is... whatever it is... he is the one I will end up together with soon... AMIN... 

Astrid-Tentang Rasa 


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